"No time to fall behind!"

This is what they tell transfer students, or at least those that transfer from a semester to a quarter system. They tell you that, "You'll be so busy trying to complete the most basic work that you won't even have enough time to slack off." I'd just like to say that's not true, there is always time to slack off, if you're willing to prioritize it. There are always naps, internet "research" projects, music, idle chit chat, and hair to dye. Thinking back to my college days I take pride in my ability to successfully transfer from a community college semester system to a university quarter system, and manage to screw around just as much as I ever did, if not more so, and actually raise my GPA in the process. To those who didn't have time for mid-afternoon naps I say, "You should have tried harder!"

Also, the work is not that fucking hard*, there will always be one easy class per quarter that won't require much effort. And once you stop caring, it only gets easier.

*I say this only as a humanities major.

Sooo sleepy

I'm already looking forward to my afternoon nap. One of the highlights of my Xmas vacation was sleeping in, napping and going to bed fairly early. I suppose sleep isn't the worst thing to be addicted to, but its getting old. Some combination of medication and stress has zapped my energy. Maybe it's because I haven't exercised in the past 6 month, I've been too sleepy to leave the house after work. Maybe I should take my vitamins, too. All I know is that coffee seems to have the ability to sooth me to sleep like warm milk. I don't really mean that, I think milk, especially warm milk, tastes gross, so its more of a wake-up than black coffee. Why do I love bitter ( I also love sour drinks) tasting things?

Itchy mystery rash

After having visited my in-laws, and genetic family, and staying the night in a hotel, I now have a itchy mystery rash. I've only had this happen when I eat shrimp or when I have a lot of stress. Well, I didn't eat shrimp, or any of their shellfish friends, and the stress is over with, so I don't what's wrong with me. If it doesn't go away by the end of the day tomorrow, M will force me to go to urgent care so she doesn't have to lie beside my pox ridden body.

Speaking of pox, I had to buy anti-itch cream. I bought Cortizone 10 with healing aloe, and read the box as we wandered through the store. Under the directions section it states, " ...for external anal and genital itching...". I had no idea that it had this kind of application (ha ha). At first I though I would walk of the store with my head held high, knowing that people will think well of me and my vermin related hygiene issues, but I was confronted with the shame of people thinking I going to barely make it to the car and start frantically rubbing this cream on my anus. Oh the shame of it all...

BTW the slogan on the box is "Feel the Heal."

Hanging out in Benice

which is how my dear friend, E, pronounces Venice. So now we all say it that way.
Anyway, now is the time I discuss post Xmas shopping; the stores were empty. I don't we have ever gotten through the lines faster than this weekend. Target, Best Buy, the Rack, all places usually packed to the gills, we were able to move free through the store and then zip through the check out. We even got our new car stereo installed during our Best Buy/ Target outing in less than two hours.

We finally have a radio in our fly ride. Is "fly" the right word? The car came with these crazy rims on it, and tinted windows, but the CD player broke down a few days after we got it. But now it's back up and running with the 2nd cheapest (the cheapest was sold out) stereo Best Buy had to offer. And I have discovered the loud function!

I guess the lesson here is that recession are great so along as your home maintains its dual, full time, income status. With excellent benefits.

post xmas

It's finally over! I've already throw out the "live" tree and it's not even 11AM yet. I am keeping the pink tinsel tree up until Jan. 1st. How can I not? It's shiny, and shiny things make me happy.
We got to spend Xmas eve at a really nice hotel in San Diego, one of the many gifts to ourselves. Well, we got to sleep there, and dine at the penthouse. Actually the evening was spent con la familia Aquino. Xmas day was spent with my family. We sat around the dinner table and fondly remembered our favorite TV shows and movies together, the Simpsons, Twilight Zone, Betty Boop, Full Metal Jacket, the Day the Earth Stood Still (both versions), the Blob (both versions), and The Tingler. Good times had by all.

I'm in love with yet another full figered Latina

Yey! Regina Orozco. Oh my God she's so hot...why do I have this fetish?

2 Valium + 1 and 1/2 martinis =

Total loss of balance, apparently. And lots of vomiting. Now I understand what they mean about the pills intensifying the effects of alcohol. Usually when I'm that kind of drunk, there's a feeling of desperate urgency and pleading with the booze gods that I'll just make it through the night. Not this time. I didn't care, I knew I would be fine. Despite the inability to walk.

The good news is that you don't care that you're throwing up, you're not upset about it. It doesn't even taste bad, not that it taste great, but you're kind of like "whatever body, why do you always try to be so dramatic?"
The other upside is that there's no accompanying hangover, because you can't imbibe that much before you get to the point of no return. And I think I threw up all the booze.

BTW, all this took place at the fun Xmas party. And the real loss of balance didn't occur until I got home.

Quotes of the Day

Work related depression has been slightly alleviated thanks to my pills, junk food, and How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying quotes such as these beauties featured below.

"How to Choose the Right Company: before applying for a job, make sure the company is a large one. This is essential. It should be at least large enough so that nobody quite knows exactly what the other fellow is doing."

"If you have education, intelligence, and ability, so much the better. But, remember that thousands have reached the top without any of these qualities."

"[T]his is the time for maintaining a cool head, and following the one simple rule: put the blame on somebody else."

Work Christmas Party

It was actually fun-ish.  We were both very shocked by this.  

Celebration at the Indian place!

So last night M and I went out to our favortive Indian place, Gill's, to celebrate some positive feed back on my jewelry. Their website is currently down, but if you should ever get the chance, go there. But call ahead they have odd hours, their number is (213) 623-1050. I've also included their location at the bottom, bottom, bottom of this post.
Anyway the food was great, the ambience was just the way we like it, but the interesting part occurred after dinner. The manager, or owner, maybe, came to out table and started chatting with us, telling us how we "such beautiful ladies." He went on and on( and no, we didn't get a free meal, or a beautiful lady discount, although I should have asked about the latter). The interesting/odd thing is that we have been there many, many time before and this has never happened. We theorize this occurred because we had both just come from work, and the combination of our work personas and work clothes, that sent off the "Yes, we are employed and not just college students" signal. I think, to a practical sort of person, that's the most attractive quality in the world.

Things I will do in 09

I will install more memory on my computer. Myself. Which means I might wind up buying a new computer in the end...

I will organize my desk(the one at work), keep it that way, and acquire more chotchkeys to display.

I will take better care of the house plants and house pets. They'll go from well taken care of to ridiculously pampered. I wonder if I can carry my rabbit and peace lilly in my purse into the Rack, like those tiny dog girls do... and if I do, does it have to be a Juicy Couture bag?


I will discover someway for two people to continue to live a studio, as they have for the past three years, to find more space to store their stuff. And possibly find some room for a second bunny.

I will get a second bunny. They're so tiny, for a while anyway, and the one we have right now is lonesome. I will acquire this creature in 09, do you understand M? I promise to get a real smart one this time, that will fully understand the concept of the litter box.
Why look there's Baby New Year right there!  At the bottom of this post!

Fun with projectors

This is from the MuTate exhibition in London




They also have pole dancing robots. I find such great things at Sex and Blogs

M stole my book

So I was reading the Naked Civil Servant, but M stole it away from me.  She carries it around in her purse, reads the best quotes to me, and then reads silently to herself.  I've already renewed that damn thing twice, she's still not done, and I don't think I'll get to finish it unless I check it our a second time without telling her.  But she did get Peter Sagal's Book of Vice which I've been trying to get from the library for about two months now.  I just need to keep her greasy mitts off of it until I'm through with.  We both hate sloppy seconds.  

All I really want for Xmas...

is for M to help me reupholster the sofa and always mix resin and molding compound for me.  The other things she's given me so far are very nice, but the gift of service is always the most meaningful.  Willingness to dismantle a couch, hold fabric tight while I use a staple gun dangerously close to her tiny hands, and struggling to put the whole thing back together again just says "I love you more than my personal safety and emotional well-being."  The most beautiful eleven and a half words in the English language.

A not so Green Pre-Xmas

I live with a baby Bee. After much buzzing I gave in and we had a very exciting gift opening frenzy. I hate to do it but I felt I had no choice, she was looking at me with those sad but hopeful eyes and how could anyone say no to that? Easy for others I know, but nearly impossible for me. I told myself last year that I wouldn't let this happen again, but instead of sticking to my word, I ended up giving in even earlier than last year. We are 9 days away from Christmas, and though we don't celebrate Christmas in a traditional baby-jesus-birthday religion influenced way, I wanted to shock her by giving her as much as possible all at once. I was supposed to prove a point; I know her very well and am willing to show my love in products of large U.S. currency value. My love is not stingy and that's all I wanted to say but I wanted to say it in a more traditional way. I think I eventually did just that. Hope she likes the ones I saved up for Christmas day, that's right my baby bee, now you will have to wait for the 25th, no more smiling til you melt my heart and my firm parts.

Confession of a compulsive drinker

I drink compulsively.  Doesn't matter what it is, water, booze, tea, coffee, juice, soda, energy drinks, if it's around I will drink and then I will have another, and another, and another...  If I only have access to coffee, I'll 3-4 cups, regardless of how bad it taste.  Water?  Why I'm right next to water cooler, so as soon as the disposable cup gets halfway empty, it's time to freshen it up.  Energy drinks?  Despite no longer having need to stay up all night, in fact at this point in my life it's to my disadvantage, but I'll still drink 'em till I'm all jittery anyway.
This compulsion is only a problem because of alcohol, since I will drink that compulsively as well.  The good news is that tolerance is really high, but I'm sure ingesting so much poison is not good for my body.  One martini, try 4-6, all very strong, or a whole bottle of red wine, or 4 mojitos (which are about 1/2 rum when I make 'em and I always use tall glasses).  Thanks to my high tolerance, I'm a very productive drunk, household projects, crafts, elaborately organized underwear drawers  At first M and I both thought that my productive benders were just away to calm myself down, which they are of course, but not to the extent we thought.  It wasn't until I realized I drink this way all the time, albeit less harmful liquids.  So I've toned down the hard drinking a bit, no more weekday martinis and mojitos, only two glasses of wine instead of the whole bottle, because of M's concern for my health and because I'm taking 5-6 pills everyday, two of which are sedatives, so I shouldn't really be mixing all this stuff... anyway, this has really increased my soda and juice consumption.

Babycham Studies

I want it, I want it, I want it!

Here's an ad from the 80s, obviously;

How not to reupholster furniture

We did once, successfully.  We covered an Ikea storage bench with really cute, retro, mint green fabric.  It looks great.  The Ikea sofa I've tried to reupholster, not so great.  The fabric's cute, tan with a retro print(to hide stains), but there are two very different, very big, factors in this job, M didn't help and the shape is much for complicated than a rectangular bench.  I know what I have to do, I have to take the sofa apart ( which is actually easy, it's also from Ikea), staple on the fabric with M's help, make sure that it can still be put back together, and ta-da!  I vow t fix this couch before my X-mas party this weekend.  And I will photograph/film the process, so I can make others feel the tediousness.

Working with rubber and rabbits or DIY jewelry

I have rubber mold  making. It looks like it worked, but for some reason angered our rabbit. As we were carefully removing the item from the molding compound( which was so rubbery... like a dolphin) the wee beast started to stamp her feet, which means she's pissed. I think it's because M didn't say "good morning" to her when she entered the kitchen. M even gave her oatmeal to get back on her good side, but the rabbit refused to eat it, which is very unlike her. Anyway, the rabbit wasn't the point.

Here's the backing I use for most of my pendants....

and here's the rubber mold I cast from it...

I once I get a decent pic of the finish product, I'll post that too.  Hmmm.... maybe I should include the rubber making process (dull) and the pouring of the resin(which is as dull as watching resin dry).  But once I get a good image of the final product I will list the materials used.  Yay!

Maybe I could start drinking Babycham instead...

I mean just look at this ad, isn't great?  And it's only a hard cider....

The only catch is that it seems like it might be a bit hard to find state side.  But I will track it down one way or another.  I will drink this pear cider, damn it.  If any one finds this in LA county please let me know.  Maybe I should put wheat paste poster that read "missing, one deer, responds to the name Babycham."  Would that get people attention or would it just get me in trouble?  

I'm so outta of it right now

I thought that Xanax and Valium were supposed to be addictive, where one has to keep taking more and more to get the same effect.  I, however, seem to be going through the opposite effect.  I I get totally knocked out on when I take it, so much so, that I actually will fall asleep in the car (with M driving of course) which I've never been able to do in my entire life.   It's not calming me down anymore, it's knocking me the fuck out.  

Like today for example, I had my morning round of pills, and now I'm fantasying about using my sick time so I can go take a nap.   No, I'm not fantasying, I'm seriously considering it. 

X-mas party #1

Okay, this was the first Christmas party/dinners of the season, I only have 5 left;

1. My work X-mas party
2. The fun X-mas party
3. Our X-mas party/ gift exchange 
4. M's parents' X-mas eve party
5. Dinner with my parents 

I doubt any of these other parties are going to include full sized bottles of vodka and brandy.  Per table.  With about 7 people per table.  At about 20+ tables.  That's a lotta booze, even for me.  I've never seen anything like, it was like an open bar for lazy, hardcore alcoholics.   The party started at 6PM, no one really got there until, about 7 , by 8 everyone had that boozy walk, and by 9:30, the time we left, supervisors were giving slurred speeches to their underlings.  

After witnessing all this I had two revelations, 1) I don't ever want to work for the county(though I'm sure I will at some point, *sigh*), 2) I want to drink less.  I didn't get drunk, or suffer a hangover, or embarrass my self, but suddenly, somehow, drinking finally lost its glamour.  Kind of like finding out Santa's not real.  My ability to drink has become a party trick, I drink a lot to shock my friends by still being semi-coherent.  Well, I'm tried of being a one trick pony.  I need a new useless skill.  But one that makes me feel like a tough guy.  

And I hope this what my new found semi-sobriety looks like;

Finally, a cartoon that explains the fear of dying

Fears of the Dark, if you can find it somewhere, anywhere, borrow it from Satan himself, you must watch it. And then lend it to me.



I know that this clip is probably not the creepiest the film has to offer, but that whole foreign language thing just makes me look so smart.

Midnight movies at home

So true to my word, I went home and watched Clownhouse.  It was kinda meh, escaped lunatics in clown make-up.  M got really into it.  Anyway the highlight of my movie watchin' evening was finally watching Dolls, I movie I've been dying to watch since I first saw at the scuzzy video rental place near my parents home.  This is that cover, the one that enchanted me so,

I wanted to see it so badly.  Anyway after watching it the other night, I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the little girl me would have adored this movie.  Not only does the little girl, Judy, have the ability to reason with the dolls, who want to protect her, it also features two very cute 1980s punk girls, which during my childhood (and my adulthood) I think is sooo cool.  Too bad they're like the first to get killed.  *sigh*

While fucking around on YouTube...

I discovered a campy 1980s horror movie that I had never heard of before, Clownhouse.  WTF?  I thought I had a decent working knowledge of crappy horror movies, but apparently not.  My confidence is deeply shaken, but at least I know what I'll be watching when I get home tonight.  And for free, thanks to YouTube. 

 Apparently it was nominated for the Grand Jury Prize at Sundance, it was made '89( I was seven), and its directed by the guy who did Jeepers Creepers ( which I really liked, alot). How did I not know of this?!

Anxiety on the rise

Eeekk!  I can feel it, anxiety, creeping up down my spine like a mouse, or maybe it's more like the Tingler(from the Tingler starring Vincent Price)  Anyway, I've found a piece a of poetry to describe how I feel, or who I empathize with at the moment;

"Hickory Dickory dock,
The mouse ran up the clock,
The clock struck one
The mouse ran down,
Hickory Dickory dock.

Hickory Dickory dock,
The mouse ran up the clock,
The clock struck two
And down he flew,
Hickory Dickory dock.

Hickory Dickory dock,
The mouse ran up the clock,
The clock struck three
And he did flee,
Hickory Dickory dock.

Hickory Dickory dock,
The mouse ran up the clock,
The clock struck four,
He hit the floor,
Hickory Dickory dock.

Hickory Dickory dock,
The mouse ran up the clock,
The clock struck five,
The mouse took a dive,
Hickory Dickory dock.

Hickory Dickory dock,
The mouse ran up the clock,
The clock struck six,
That mouse, he split,
Hickory Dickory dock.

Hickory Dickory dock,
The mouse ran up the clock,
The clock struck seven,
8, 9, 10, 11,
Hickory Dickory dock.

Hickory Dickory dock,
The mouse ran up the clock,
As twelve bells rang,
The mousie sprang,
Hickory Dickory dock.

Hickory Dickory dock,
"Why scamper?" asked the clock,
"You scare me so
I have to go!
Hickory Dickory dock."

That poor mouse, he needs some Valium, or Xanax, or wine to halt his obsessive, nerve wracking behavior.

I've got another X-mas party to attend!

This one is for M's work. She has promised to introduce me as her wife/partner to her coworkers. Some of them already know about me, some have actually seen me, but the rest know of me only as her roommate.
Anyway, I feel like a debutante. But what's a girl to wear? Its supposed to be dressy, so which dress do I wear? Black or cream? Sleeves or no sleeves? Long or short? Right now I'm leaning toward my longer, flapper style dress, with very high heels, since her supervisors will be there... but I'm not sure. Any suggestions dear readers( and by readers I mean M and E, my only two readers)?

Quote of the Day!/Reasons not to move to Canada

"I will wait to find the right man or men who'd be willing to have me on their dinner table..." said accused killer Sydney Teerhuis. This is a really odd case, compared to all the normal murder cases I guess. Click on Sydney's name to read the article.
Canada is apparently packed with psychos. Sure, you're less likely to get shot, but if that means getting stabbed to death in a bus, I'll take random shootings any day of the week. Wait, no...ummm...no. Did I just jinx myself?

Current mood, in song!

I can't seem to face up to the facts
I'm tense and nervous and I
Can't relax
I cant sleep 'cause my bed's on fire
Dont touch me, I'm a real live wire

Psycho killer
Quest que cest
Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away
Psycho killer
Quest que cest
Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away

You start a conversation you cant even finish it.
You're talkin' a lot, but you're not sayin anything.
When I have nothing to say, my lips are sealed.
Say something once, why say it again?

Psycho killer,
Quest que cest
Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away
Psycho killer
Quest que cest
Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away

(* spoken interlude in french *)

Psycho killer,
Quest que cest
Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away
Psycho killer,
Quest que cest
Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh....

I would like to thank my meds

I woke up late today, 7:50ish.  I'm supposed to be at work at 8AM.  Without the aid of the many pills that are slowly/rapidly changing my brain chemistry, I made it to work without bursting into tears.  That really would not have been possible without all the sedatives and mood stabilizers.  The best part is that I got dressed(including some make-up), caught the bus, got in the office about 8:20ish and was still the first person to work.  

The downside is that I kind of have to hype myself up a bit, "They're not going to fucking fire ME for being a few minutes late, I happen to be a very important cog..." Which means I'm manic-y right now, which means I'll be swinging into my panicky mode soon. Maybe my morning pill breakfast will stop that.

My wall of darkness

I've finally done it. I've gone and covered one of the walls in fabric. With wallpaper being so expensive, and being unable to summon the energy to paint, I've tacked black fabric to the walls. It's really the only obvious compromise when you think about.
It does not look goth. It kind of has an interesting haunted Victorian bordello look to it...well maybe it is a bit goth, but the Ikea furniture makes for a dynamic balance between morbid and functional sensibilities.

Nerd crack, after tech and graphic novels

So I have a stationary addiction, its real bad. I now I've gone got my friends addicted. I'm a terrible influence.
Here are the things I've acquired this week;
I got this postcard book





The postcard above has to be one of the creepiest things I've ever seen. The image of a little girl with the slogan "You'd be like Heaven to touch" comes across as just a bit ominous.


I love the asterisk, like at the bottom of the card it should read "but..." or "except when..."




I also got the "Housekeeping Book", its sort of a calendar, kind of a chore day planner ( I guess, most of it is in Korean), and monthly budget.
Here's the outside ( I know the photo quality is lousy, but its after midnight and I'm drinking)

There's also a memo section, filled with cute drawings and useful information.

How to be a Wallflower at Any Club

that's what's so nice about blogging, learning something new every week. This portion is supposed to be part of a series, "How to be a Wallflower at Any Club". Anyway, we went to Das Bunker on Friday. They have lots of places to sit and make very strong drinks.

Anyway we knew it was a goth-industrial club, so we all wore black, which also allowed us to blend into the seating. I wouldn't call that music industrial, more electro, drakwave, techno rave-y, but what do I know? I know how to be an annoying pain in the ass, that's what I know.



People watching was great. Everyone wore those platform buckle boots (think JTHM), which made us all feel very short, despite my wearing 4 inch heels. We used to go to La Plaza Salon (also to people watch), where there were mainly very recent immigrants from Central America, so I'm used to being the tallest at 5'6.

Yet another weekend trip to the ER

*sigh* yet another night spent in an emergency room/urgent care. My dear friend X, while attempting to open a window, managed to smash her hand through it. My friend E and I were sitting in the living room ( X is one of the few people I know who actually has a living room), we heard the glass shatter and a scream, but we thought she knocked over a glass or something. When we heard her say, "Fuck, my hand's been cut open and there's blood every where!", we knew intuitively, that something was wrong.
After carefully bandaging her hand in a dirty kitchen towel, we hopped in to my car and were off to spend a few hours in a dirty ER waiting room. Our only comfort was telling X that she would feel better when they cut her hand off and that she'd be a stump trend setter. Her pinky was cut the worst, but to make her feel better, I told her that if they had to amputate it we could replace it with a baby carrot.

She got seven stitches. To make up for it ( we felt it was our fault because we decided to drop by and surprise her, thus necessitating the need for an open window)we took her to In N' Out. But she had to pay for herself.

Christmas Parties

I have two X-mass parties to attend. And to force upon M. But at least I can look forward to getting smashed on wine at one and witty conversation at the other. I would appreciate a Christmas bonus a lot more than hors 'd oeuvres and moderately priced wine, but oh well. I would just waste that money on two-buck-Chuck anyway, so I guess I'm actually getting more bang (better wine) for the buck this way.

Yet another favored website...

I've found yet another homophobic website to amuse my self with, it's not so great, but they did have this excellent headline; "Homosexuals begin campaign of terror and violence against churches in California and across US because of Prop 8 election loss." I read this and all I could think was, "Nobody told me! Why are the other sodomites always excluding me?!" Now I depressed, not only was the legitimacy of my marriage to M rejected by a slim margin of the electorate, but now the other homos are rejecting me preemptively from their terror campaign. Nobody wants me to have fun. :(

Just because

I love this sign!  It would make a really cool t-shirts too.  Hmmm... homemade Christmas gift idea...

Fuck yeah!

It's already Thursday! Oh, the work week is almost over. Last week was a short work week, which means things piled up around the office, which means I'm actually busyish, which means time just seems to fly. This why Fall/Winter is the best time of the year, my birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving holiday, Christmas holiday, and New Year's. It makes the beginning of the actual new year such a let down though. No more days off, no gifts, no candy and slightly less boozing. What a disappointment to wake up on January 1st, your home full of newly acquired items, back in the habit of staying up all night and sleeping in, to then realize that you're going back to work the next day and you're going to go a long time without that intoxicating combination of holidays, gifts, food, and hooch. The only bright side is that I get a whole set of sick hours, or mini holidays as I call them.

How I wash dishes and how I do it wrong

I cannot wash dishes to save my life. Every time I do them I think I did a good job, only to have M point out the large pieces of food still stuck to the plates. My only defense is, "Well, at least the food has been thoroughly washed. I'd eat off of them" But my finicky wife disagrees and begins the long process of scraping crusty food off our good Ikea china.

Taking that trip at work...

Valium at work is wonderful. It's like a three martini lunch, but without the nausea. I feel calm, charming, cozy. Very nice. I think I'll call it the "Secretary Sedative" or the "Administrative Assistant's Aid." It's very much like night time cold med.s, but without the feeling that you could just pass out at any moment. I'm considering dissolving the pill in the coffee to mellow my coworkers, or take the pills, grind them up and put into the vents... *

* I'm not really considering any of this, those pills is mines.

My Botanica shopping list

1 penis shaped candle
1 vagina shaped candle
Candles for- stopping gossip, to Santa Muerte, successful court case, and the lonely soul.
Glow in the dark virgin Mary.
Milargros
Impotency powder
Mystery oils and soaps

If any my family is reading this, you essentially know what you're getting for X-mas from me.

100 people killed in TJ in two weeks

Mis padres-in-law own a house in TJ, and my dear M is always trying to convince me to go.  This is a bad neighborhood even by TJ standards, before the spike in violence.  During my mother-in-law's last visit (they live state side)  to her house involved finding a man in house across the dirt road who had been tortured.  The neighbors called an ambulance to pick him, he refused, and was dead the next day.  No fucking way are we going there anytime soon.  When Mexican drug cartel killings are making the US news (even if it is on NPR)that means it's really fucking bad.  Juarez has been getting a lot press too, but I haven't heard anything about mujeres de Juarez, which is much more shocking series of brutal murder, that seem to be carried out for just for sadism, that have been going on forever.
Anyway, I'm off track because I'm on valium. There is no fucking way I will be visiting M's TJ home, I don't care if they do have a concert wall shards of glass stuck in the top, we are soooo not going.

Doc. says I'm cured!

Well one of them.  And by cured, he meant that we've finally got the med.s more or less right.  The only side effect that I'm having, which I didn't even notice, was slightly slower heartbeat.  I can't wait for my next physical, this time I'll be able to list on the many, many pills I'm taking.  I feel like a real grown-up.  

It's official!

Not only are in we (US) in recession, we've been in recession for a while.  Our recession began last year!  Does that mean it's no longer unpatriotic to say the ""r" word", as my fav conservative radio station would say?  Probably not.  Facts, smacts, who needs them when you've got subjective truth?

So we've been in recession for a year now, I actually feel a bit relieved.  I actually managed to get, and keep, a job during a recession(so far, damn now I've jinxed it).  Yay me!  

Anyway here is the  recession checklist in the style of a "are you depressed" questionnaire;

Have you experienced economic contraction? Check

Has this lasted for a few quarters or more? Check

Then you are in recession.  

What horror movies have taught us

Don't do dumb shit, i.e. don't split up, in the dark, in the woods, hitchhiking, stealing small objects from museum collections. Basic Scout/ elementary school stuff.

An once of prevention is worth a pound of cure. If you knock your nemesis down, don't run away, jump on its neck, remove hands and feet, set it on fire, just make fucking kill it! And don't put you face next to its' to see if its still breathing.

If you notice that all the lights in your world are dim, or flickering, and that there are very few people around, leave. Go to fucking Denny's or something. But not the Denny's near my house, go the nicer crowded one down the street.

You all may have noticed a new trend, where virgins are not the only survivors of horror movies. But let's not chance it. If you should find your self stuck in a spooky cabin, with no outside communications, on the anniversary of a terrible event, don't do it. If you don't anger the monster/psycho watching you from inside the wall, at the very least it will you distracted, thus a vulnerable target. Same things goes for showers and sleeping. When an animal senses a predator, or that it might be time to visit the vet, that critter is not going to take a nap, or anything else, on the middle of the floor. They know better. 

Cell phone suddenly out of network? Backtrack until it is in network again.

Be polite to the creepy. Not so polite that you're picking up hitchhikers (remember they taught us not to do that in elementary school and Scouts!), but you know, regular polite. This is a lesson also learned in fairy tales.

Run! Run like your life depends on it, 'cause it does.

Packin' heat. Things getting weird? Get a Saturday Night Special. Jus' saying that a girly punch is nowhere near as effective as causing a massive exit wound to slow down your tormentor. Bonus points if you tuck it in your pants, that way psychos don't realize the need to disarm you until its too late! Or, if you're like me, and can't aim, use a shotgun. Hopefully lugging something like that around will act as a deterrent. Or maybe a sawed off shotgun with a bulky coat...Please note that this method probably won't work too well on ghost( Nightmare on Elm St., The Haunting, 13 Ghost, etc. ) demons( Hellraiser), creatures that can only be killed by fire( The Thing, 1982 version of it)

This is sooo much easier to think about then the recession.

Zombies and how to prepare for them

If there is one thing that all children, preteens, teens and twenty-somethings worry about, it's about zombie attacks. I cannot walk in down the street without thinking of zombie escape routes. Things like, if I hop that fence will I be safe for a little while or will I only trap myself? I can't look at a apartment without thinking, "Are the walls in the apartment thick enough that zombies' couldn't just punch through them?"

I've recently added a new technique to zombie proofing repertoire after watching 28 Days Later, destroy the lower staircase! Everyone on the ground floor is already screwed with their easily accessible windows, they're already as good as un-dead. This keeps zombies from accessing the higher levels of the building, for us lucky tenants that dwell in the the upper echelons of survivor society. Unless of course the zombies are them new running, jumping acrobat style zombies.

I think that this might actually be a coping mechanisms for me. Instead a serenity prayer kind of thing, I distract myself my by preparing monster attacks. It can be quite time consuming.

My trip down the Yellow Brick Road...

or my first weekend using valium, a.k.a "Mother's Little Helper", a.k.a "Executive Excedrin." I don't get to take the name brand drug, I get the generic yellow pill, hence Yellow Brick Road. It doesn't help with depression, but it's great for the anxiety, kind of like drinking. Should it be putting me in a party mood? Should I care?  

I don't enjoy the suffering of others...

but I do enjoy their being inconvenienced. Schadenfreude lite, all the pleasure with half the vileness. Knowing that someone you don't particularly like (or better yet, you really don't like), has suffered some small set back, especially when it's due to their own stupidity, just makes my day. I know this isn't good for my mental health, because there is a treacherous part of my self that not only enjoys my set backs, but is also capable of causing them. This'll cause schadenfreude for someone else, I'm sure.

I took three naps yesterday!

That's a new record for me. I took one during my lunch break(20 min.s), on the drive home from the doctor (1 hour), I was the passenger, and when I got home(2 1/2 hours). I was even in bed by 12:30AM. I suffer from really bad menstrual fatigue. Well I don't really suffer per se, I enjoy napping and for once it justifiable. It kinda feels like when you take nighttime cold med.s in the day, while you're at work, and you find your eyelids dropping, head titled forward, and warm drool trickling from your slack jaw. It's kinda peaceful, what I hope euthanasia feels like, warm and cozy.

New neighbors still living in apartment across the way...

despite it's being haunted. I'm working another theory about why the ghost hasn't chased them off yet. The new neighbors are vampires! Allow me to explain, trust me it'll all make so much sense in the end you'll be hanging garlic, filling squirt guns with holy water and sharping your stakes. They're up all night and completely silent all day. Not a peep. And they don't seem to cook, or if they do, they don't wash their dishes for I hear no sounds of cleanliness. M thinks that they're probably students, up all night, at school or sleeping all day, eating only prepared meals, the way we did when we were students. I think it's better to err on the side caution and prepare for the inevitable blood bath.

Morning relief, just as good an Xanax

The homosexual agenda advances yet another step, thanks to all the activist judges we've got in our pocket. I love the "rational basis" part the best.

From AP wire;

Miami Judge Rules Against Fla. Gay Adoption Ban

A juvenile court judge in Miami on Monday allowed a gay couple to adopt two children who had been in their foster care, ruling that a Florida law banning gay couples from adopting is unconstitutional.

Miami Dade Circuit Judge Cindy Lederman ruled Tuesday there was "no rational basis" for prohibiting gays from adopting children.

The ruling will allow Martin Gill to adopt two young brothers he has cared for as foster children since 2004. Gill said when he and his partner agreed to act as foster parents to the boys, he expected it would be for just a few months.

As time went on and it became clear that the boys would not be returning to their family, Gill said he knew he'd have to challenge the state law.

Some other states have similar laws on the books, but Florida's law is the strictest in the nation banning adoptions because of sexual orientation.

In granting the adoption, Lederman said there is a consensus among researchers that there is no reason to prohibit adoptions by gay couples.

Lawyers representing Florida's Department of Children & Families said they will appeal the decision.

My love for Asian goods has been reignited

For a while now, with rise of anime in mainstream, Hello Kitty for target, and Hello Kitty worshipping celebrities everywhere, I lost interest in all things small, cute, surprisingly useful/useless, and from the East. On top of that, every low brow artist began to use anime/charter style creatures in their art work/t-shirts/vinyl toys. I burned out, the unusual had become mundane, that is until a new little shop opened up in the strip mall next to work.

I've fallen in love with the the Morning Glory products, designed by Yellow Submarine. Calendars and notebooks with cute little designs

that don't really make any sense and broken English that makes even less sense. It's a Korean company, and most of the characters are a little too Disneyish, but the new random shit thrown together line is really quite cute.

Such as the "I Envy You" card wallet you see on the left.

"scandals" from my fav website

If you haven't been following the story, I don't blame you, its a real yawner, but I'll make it fun. e-Harmony was sued because it doesn't offer same sex matches. And the right wing perverts over at Americans for Truth have got their leather panties in a bunch over this. They've been encouraging their fan base of gay, bear, leather sex, rubber-neckers, to write e-Harmony founder, Dr. Neil Clark Warren, to voice their dismay for facilitating same sex mathes. Personally, I think they're just upset because hooking up through an online dating site has become an itsy-bitsy more respectable, they don't like that they had to deal with such sleaziness when they were young. Without further ado here's one of the letters;

From: Jan
Sent: Thursday, November 20, 2008 5:34 PM
To: ncwarren@eharmony.com [Dr. Neil Clark Warren, founder, eHarmony.com]
Subject: unbelievable

Dear Mr. Warren:

I was absolutely shocked that you would cave into the homosexual agenda, by offering date-matching for homosexuals on your “Christian” dating website. They have their own dating websites which I understand to be extremely X-rated.

I have several single and widowed friends who use your website. I will be sending an e-mail to them about your caving into EVIL and that they should not use your website — ever again.

Extremely disappointed,

Jan

Isn't that great! The use of the word evil even. God, that just made my day. I was worried that I wasn't evil enough, but now I know that I can be EVIL, not just lower-case, regular, ol' evil without lifting a finger. Well maybe not...

They've also listed president-elect Obama's pro-gay agenda.

1)the more liberal version of ENDA that includes “gender identity” (transsexual “rights”);
2)changing immigration law to treat homosexual couples (i.e., same-sex lovers abroad) like married couples;
3)expanding federal AIDS spending despite the disproportionate government monies spent on this behavior-driven disease compared to other serious maladies such as Alzheimer’s and heart disease;
4)federal recognition of homosexual “civil unions”; and
5)using the president’s bully pulpit to advocate for homosexual adoption and other homosexual activist policy goals.

I actually heard one woman call him the anti-Christ, I think it was This American Life, I'll have to double check on that one.

So, while we might have to bail out millionaires, if we're lucky we'll get legal recognition of same-sex marriages and universal health care too!

Five more ways to have fun during a "recession'

1) Stare, or listen, to the news with your jaw agape when you hear more bailout news. Watch/listen as our country becomes socialized, with none of the benefits of a socialized government, i.e. universal health care. Its always fun to let your tongue dry out, and best of all it's free.
2) Take bets on which bank, or other large industry, will collapse next. Just don't bet with money. You'll always have your dignity, bet with that.
3)Begin romanticizing poverty right now! Think of the joys that will come from sharing a simple meal of canned cocktail weenies, in the candle light, with your nearest and dearest urchins. Family bonding, when you move back in with your parents, either because you can't afford your rent, they can't afford theirs, or maybe a little bit of both. Two words; shabby chic. You will bond in style with your fellow destitute denizens.
4)Stock pile food. This idea comes from M. Buy like you're stocking your bomb shelter during the height of the 1st Cold War. Cans o' anything, M prefers peaches, but anything that'll last a few years and can be eaten cold will do. Rice, bags and bags of it, stored very carefully so none of those little worms will get in. This also doubles as an earthquake preparedness kit.
5) Keep charging everything to the credit card, live paycheck to paycheck, and pretend that you will somehow be unaffected. You get to combine the thrills of living dangerously and living in a delusional dream world where one may take shelter from the storm. Personally, I think its thrilling enough to live during a 2nd Great Depression and a 2nd Cold War. Exciting times.

Citi gets $20 Billion or FFUBAR(Financially Fucked Up Beyond All Repair)

Son of a bitch.  Citi raised my interest rate on a credit card, despite never having paid late, or having committed any other sins that cause interest rate hikes.  My interest rate almost doubles because they can't pay back their debts and they get $20 billion in aid, while I pay off my debt every month and get punished.  I hate being a worker bee, not on the bottom rung of the societal ladder, but most of the rungs on that ladder are fairly close, while the higher rungs are always out of reach even if you standing(or balancing precariously)  on the highest of the lower rungs.  

And I still owe them money for my student loans.  It's not fair, why I aren't I allowed to be fiscally irresponsible with my own money and get bailed out, while they can get into a financial fuck-up( should we start using "FFUBAR " to refer to the banking industry) with other people's money.  

I've lost my ability to stay awake for days on end

I automatically shut off at midnight and wake up at 7AM, and there's nothing I can do about it. It's not that I'm getting old, I hope, but steady work has forced my body to conform to this bizarre new schedule. When I was a student I could stay up for 48hrs straight, sleep 5 hours, and feel fine. Maybe if I go back to school while working full time, I'll regain my ability to stay up for days on end. Or, maybe it'll have the opposite effect. At least I'll learn how to sleep standing up.

I gots me a LAMB purse

Finally I have a purse that cost more than I could ever hope to sell myself for. If blow jobs go for about twenty buck a pop, then I would need to do about 25 of them in one night to pay for this thing. Lucky for me, the bag was on sale. Good, ol' Nordstrom's Rack, selling what the rich find distasteful. Not only was the bag deeply discounted already, my fellow pueblains didn't like it either, so it was reduced by another 50%. The store was desperate to get rid of it, if I had waited just a little bit longer they might have paid me to take it. The best is that I like this bag from the moment I saw it regular price.
Suck my dick recession, suck it like a crack whore (y'know, toothless)

Weekend Pills

I didn't take my pills today until almost 1PM. I got at eight, I was actually doing laundry by 8:30, it was a productive morning. I was thinking about the pills, but I felt the breakfast combo of Oragina and grilled cheese just weren't right. After going to In N' Out for some professionally made grilled cheese, I took my meds. Which of course completely screwed up my concept of time. Despite knowing that I got up as though I had to go to work, I felt like my day didn't really start until 1PM. Now its almost 10PM, but it feels like a drowsy five to me.

Thanksgiving wishes

There are so many reasons I won't be able to do this, but I'm so in love with the idea I invite you all to experience it in your imaginations. To make this extra assuming you should know that I'm a vegetarian.

 I invite all my friends over for Thanksgiving dinner, the is table set, the chairs are ready, but oddly there's no smell of food in the air.  Everyone sits down and I disappear into the kitchen to fetch our meal.  I come carrying a big, white, plastic bucket with a tightly sealed lid.  I plop that bucket at the head the table, since I'm the hostess I'll need to serve everyone.  I pry off the lid, I drool in anticipation of the bounty which we about to receive, and I start to put pig fetuses on to everyone's plates.  "There very trendy right now, and since they were never born, they weren't killed, which makes them a vegetable, so I can eat 'em!  Aren't I clever guys?"  My guest quickly leave as the stench of formaldehyde, or as I call it, the stench of success, fills the room.  

The inspiration for this occurred when I saw the tub o' pig fetuses in a school biology catalog and immediately started dreaming of their many uses.  It's out of price range, and, well I believe that pre-natal pigs are vegetables, I could never eat something so gosh-darn cute.  I also thought they would be fun to throw at cars.

We've got new neighbors

So we're taking bets on long they'll last. The most anyone has stayed in that apartment is 6 months, and that's because he was never home. And I don't think he paid rent for while. Anyway next there were the people who stayed for about two months, then another person moved in and left before the month was over. There were very long gaps, months, between each new tenant. After concluding that their moving is not due to us being loud neighbors, or that I make strange noises all the time, leading them to think we've some sort of People Under the Stairs situation going on, I must believe there's something wrong with that apartment. It could the lack ventilation, it's teensy-weensy-ness ( it takes a LOT of skill to make a studio look spacious), or, most likely, it's because that place is haunted. I know, I'm probably getting a few raised eyebrows, but hear me out. A guy was shot (by the cops, so its okay)  in our apartment right before we moved in (that's how we got a discount and brand new appliances). After three years of living here, we can safely determine that there are no ghost. My theory is this; when the cops shot him, he must have splattered, so I think his soul was blown out of his body and into the apartment across from us. Now he haunts the wrong apartment.  Just think about it, that's all I ask.

Why we should go to a Northern European nation for 09

'Cause they got Dignitas, that's why.  And after hearing such a provocative slogan, Suicide Tourism, I really, really want to go. I don't want to die, but I like having the option of assisted suicide should I become very ill. I also like the idea of maxing out all my credit cards if I'm terminally ill. I'm going to live it up on my way out.

Suicide Tourism isn't actually as great as it sounds, unless you are suicidal. You don't go and watch people kill themselves, you go there to kill yourself, because you're lazy ass nation refuses to help you. Okay so maybe it's not laziness, but more a whole lot of squirminess? Despite having a death penalty and being involved in a whole lot of wars, the idea of killing someone who isn't... um..."deserving", isn't capable of scary you, doesn't make you feeling that there is no other choice, someone who inspire pity and empathy is much harder to kill. I dunno.

Well my fellow ghouls, here's the suicide protocol, courtesy of Wikipedia;
"...Dignitas uses the following protocol: an oral dose of an anti-emetic drug, followed approximately 30 minutes later by a lethal overdose of powdered Nembutal dissolved in a glass of water. If necessary, the drugs can be ingested via a drinking straw. The Nembutal overdose depresses the central nervous system, causing the person to become drowsy and fall asleep approximately 15 minutes after drinking it. Anaesthesia progresses to coma as the person's breathing becomes more shallow. Death is caused by respiratory arrest, which occurs approximately 30 minutes after ingesting the Nembutal."

Mindlessness

I love Urban Decay, one of the few pigment rich, cruelty-free make-up brands, so I must encourage any and all readers, including men, to buy their products. What's that you say, "I've got enough make-up?" Well don't worry, you probably don't have any red eyeliner. Do you? That's what I thought. Buy some. Another question, "How will I wear it?" Well don't worry, 'cause UB will tell you how. Click the link below to view "Steal our Looks" page.  Done, looking at?  Good, now you may continue to read the rest of this blog.

It would be fun to do a series of photos, before and after, of my friends with those looks copied exactly. I know who I want to where their Holiday 2007 look, Shadow Box, which gets it name from using all the colors in your eyeshadow pallet. I want all of them to wear that look...

Quote of the Day

"Hey little mama, you lookin' very intelligent today. I like that. You wana buy a CD." Some guy in the 7-11 parking lot, standing next to a BWM with an open trunk loaded with stuff. Said to me, I was wearing glasses, in case you can't tell.

Will I have to repay my student loans?

Citi's going down next. Not quite half my student loans are through them, so if they go down next will I not have to repay my loans? I mean if Uncle Sam if going to give them million/billion bucks can some of that also be used to cover my loans? It makes sense if you think about. The bank has more debt than it can pay, my loans are more than I can pay, except in very small increments, so shouldn't I get bailed out too? For some reason I doubt that'll happen, but I won't be surprised if the fixed APR on them suddenly, magically goes up...
I shouldn't think about this anymore, I can feel my self getting pissed, and worried. I know, I'll change my understanding of the reality of the situation. WaMu didn't go down because of irresponsibility on their part, but because I'm cursed. That would explain why Citi is getting ready to topple, because my connection to them is poisonous. I don't that doesn't alleviate the problem, but it does make me feel very powerful. Fear me banking industry, fear me.

Lesbians at a Fish taco bar!

While it's actually a straight bar, we think, but the place is called Senor Fish, so how can we not go? Last time we commandeered a table and quickly proceeded to bash everyone around us. No one was safe. Strangers were given back stories, new personalities, interesting quirks. We nursed our meager drinks all night, not one of us willing to move from that table. We didn't dance, we didn't get a 3rd round, we just sat and stared at people. It must be unnerving, to be one of those poor sheep, ready for the slaughter. I know they feel our collective gaze, hear an excited murmur followed by our crackling, which I'm sure must chill their blood and shake them to their very core(s). Or at least I'd like to think of it that way. The only other way to see it is that there were a bunch a lady nerds(we all had glasses on), refusing to make eye contact with the other patrons, acting like wallflowers, whispering to each other, followed by our goofy laughter. Yeah, I like my first vision much better.

On being bi...

or should I say duplicitous.  But that would get less attention, wouldn't it?  Anyway, I use both a Mac and a PC.  The Mac I work with, and the PC is my... my personal computer.  My preferences is Macs, the PC and I, it convenient.  But it doesn't excite me like my beautiful, sleek Mac does, it doesn't inspire me.  I wonder if they know about each other.

The PC is a perfectly good computer, it computes things very well, so I'm not ready to break it off yet.  I plan to introduce a Mac mini to the routine.  Threesomes require a lot of diplomacy.  

How could it be that it's not even noon yet?!

2 minutes till, I swear time is teasing me, it does it on me on purpose. I finally have some thing to contribute to the TOE(Theory of Everything), and that is; time's a real dick.

Anyway, I'm really looking forward to my early afternoon nap. That's right I nap at work. There's a couch in one the rooms and a door that locks. Yes, I am willing to skip lunch in order to rest my weary head. A girl can only take so database, IT, and editing before needing to entertain her self with violent daydreams (thanks to Sci-Fi channel's old Saturday Anime line-up, on at 5AM-Robot Circus, Project A-Ko, Akira and bits of stuff that I only remember in nightmares).

Anyway, there's a lock on the door to that room, it's really dark and that sofa's like sleeping on a marshmallow. Way better than food. Okay, maybe not, but I can eat at my desk, I can't nap at it.

I loves me sum Japanese fashion

 Since this is from the mainstream press, I assume the trend is waning.    Hime gyaru, or princess girls, which seems like the bastard child of Lolitas and Co-gal fashion, is as most things Japanese, obsessive, insanely cute, expensive, skill intensives, and demands perfection.  I would like to dress like them, but for some reason most of the hot Japanese trends don't look so good on white girls.  



Dying my hair blond lacks the shock value of my Japanese counterparts, same thing with blue contacts.  I think the main reason is that I, and my ghostly pale, round eye counterparts, lack the drive for perfection.  Those Harijuku fashions don't work if you're going to be half assed about it.  It may not match, it might fit bizarrely, it might be a little too cold for that outfit, but the make-up's perfect, the hair expertly styled, the clothes carefully picked out.   It works like really good low-brow art.  It's tacky, the subject matter is pop-y, but with the right amount of skill, it looks great.  It has meaning.  And you know the silliness/absurdity was intentional, goddamn it.

My favorite style, which I hope is still around in some form, is the medical patient look.  Bandage, brace, slings, eyepatch, nurse and doctor-like coats.  Ohmigwad, how great, way better than stupid ol' goth, paint tray, Hot Topic shit.

Anyway here's the link;

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122713804938242481.html?mod=rss_Lifestyle#

Pills

I love pills!  I love my morning ritual of putting as many as I can in my mouth (3 at time!) and washing them down with soda.  Diet or regular, Coke, Pepsi, or Shasta.  At this point if I don't do this my whole day is off.  Which is why my weekends have such a strange, timeless, feel to them.  Not a good type of timelessness, one where the weekend feels like it might last forever, but one where morning, night, and afternoon seem to switch places with each other at random.  So why don't I just follow my pill ritual on the weekends? 

 I'll tell you why, I'm not at my desk, I'm not trying to look busy (although with all the pills, I might look more crazy than busy) , and I feel weird trying to consume my usual breakfast of soda, pills, "Oriental" snack crackers, and maybe a  donut at home.  I feel like I should actually eat breakfast style food.  And then I always sit on the couch at home too, so I lose that desky feel and have no easily accessible flat surface to rest my pill case on.  But the main reason, the real reason, is that my purse isn't on the floor next to me.  

I can't leave my purse on the floor, least the big eared, buck tooth, four pound beastie gets to it and chews the straps.  And without that purse open on the floor, with my pills peaking out at me, I just don't remember to do it.  I'm a creature of habit.  

5 Fun things to do during a "recession"

1)Make jokes about how everyone loves capitalism until somebody gets hurt.  It's such fun to watch militant capitalist ask for the government to bail them out.  But then again, we're not really capitalist, the same way we aren't actually a democracy.  We're a republic, goddamn it. And we've always practiced socialized capitalism, or is that, capitalistic socialism.  Okay, now I'm off track...

2) Make lame jokes about giving the economy prozac to help it get over it's depression.  We all know that this is just a phase, the one that all teens go through, and it'll get over it.  Don't pay any attention to it, you'll only encourage it.  

3) Drinking in the car before you go into the club.  Yes, relive those teen years, and early twenties, by BYOB, or better yet, BYOHL(Bring Your Own Hard Liquor).  Not only will you save money, you will also get the giddy thrill that comes from knowing you're doing something illegal.

4)Did you know that grocery stores throw out perfectly good, well,  eatable, food?  That's right, you go on the right night and you can get all the melted ice cream and almost rotten fruit you can eat.  

5)  Draw straws with friends to figure out who will move in with whom.  Short straw will be the "hostess."  And don't think of your new companions as roommates, think of them as slumber party guest who pay part of the rent.  Oh, what fun this depression, er-recession, will be.

Goodness, that fire alarm has been going off for quite a while now

But, we haven't budged. It's been going off for over a hour now.
It goes off about once a week, at this point if it doesn't, we start to worry. None of the neighbors have reacted to it either. We all pretend that everything is normal, we just shout our conversations and turn the volume on the TV way up. It's like we're all saying, in one beautiful, collective voice, "Fuck you fire alarm, fuuucccck you!"

But boy'll my face ever be red if this place really is on fire. Or maybe it'll be sooty. Or burnt off. Then I can live out my girlhood dreams and join a freak show in the deep South. Always look on the bright side of life.

Lord of the flies, or where the fuck did all these flies come from?

We seem to have be invaded by flies. Infiltrated. Violated. Well I don't feel violated, but M sure does. She's absolutely indignant about them, like this is part of the vast conspiracy against her. Well as the head conspirator in the vast conspiracy against her, let me state for the record, it is not. I do not enjoy having to watch my wine glass for suicidal bugs, because then I have to debate whether or not I should rescue them from a liquory death and if I should keep drinking once the bug, dead or alive, has been removed.
Anywho, we cannot figure out where they came from. We both see them, so they're not hallucinations. I think we're good housekeepers and choose to believe that they come in through the cracks in the window, near the air conditioner, because its hot out and our cooking always smells so good. M thinks because we must a secret mess that neither of us knows about, or knows the location of, but flies must be coming from it. She watches them, y'know, to find their secret nest. They're the ones who should be paranoid.

Ah, the subway...

On occasion, okay on a regular basis, I take the subway around town. One would think that taking the subway in Los Angeles, being several stories underground, know that if the power goes out it'll be the first time I've ever witnessed true darkness, and the possibility of earthquakes it would be scary enough. But not for me. I have recently developed a taste for subway related horror movies. Natural disaster simply isn't enough for that morning adrenaline rush, no, I need to think that there might me monsters, mutants, and psychopaths creeping around in the narrow subway tunnels. All the subway movies are based in places that have had an underground system for decades, with discontinued lines, blocked up passage ways, a subway grave yard... the LA subway system is only 18 years old. There are no secret tunnels, forgotten rail lines, there's no subway system below this one that was paved over to make way for the new line thereby infuriating ghost.

These movies, for the most part, are truly terrible, but there is one shining gem; Creep. Starring Franka Potente, of Lola Rennt fame, this movie manages to caputer all the most basic subway fears; falling a sleep at the station, missing the last train, and getting lock in for the night. With other people and one monster. The down side and upside of other people in any horror movie is that you, the heroine, can use the body count to as a count down to executing your brilliant save the day (for you) plan.
The other movies I've sat though are Knotrol and the Midnight Meat Train. The latter just has such a great title, it sounds like a gay porno, which is probably because it's by Clive Barker (y'know, Hellraiser). Knotrol is kinda more a psychological thriller set in a post Berlin Wall wall eastern Europe, which is enough to drive you crazy all on its own.
Anyway my point is that I cannot get on the subway without my gruesome death, not by being crushed by 1000s of pounds concrete, buried alive, or slowly but surely running out of air in pitch black darkness. No I need to think about where would monster hide, what's a good distance to stand away from the rails should someone push me, which one of my fellow passengers needs to be watched closely. I suppose this is because there's hope when there's monsters, etc, around. You can run, you can scream, you can plead and bargain, you can do a little damage. You can't do that when the tunnel collapses in on you. Ah, the subway...

Okay, I just thought of something to write about!

One of my favorite websites happens to be militantly homophobic, yet deliciously homoerotic, at the same time. This favored site, always good for a cheap laugh, is Americans for Truth, "a newly reorganized national organization devoted exclusively to exposing and countering the homosexual activist agenda." Oh, it is as great as it sounds. Their favorite topic is the Folsom Street Fair, a big, gay, leather, S & M festival held every year in San Francisco. The site is loaded with images of men wearing nothing more than a black censorship bar and sneakers. My god, they go on and on about these men and there sinful, yet seductive, bodies. So disgusting they just had to take a photo, to remember it better. You simply must check this out!
Furthermore, they strike me as little too knowledgeable about such forbidden sex act, like actually knowing what BDSM stands for and why water sports will never be a part of the Olympics.

Click on this long ass link to see for yourself
http://americansfortruth.com/news/tolerance-gone-wild-in-san-francisco-as-cops-stand-by-amidst-folsom-street-fairs-public-perversions-and-widespread-nudity.html

"These times, they are a changing..." Edna Turnblat

I've always wished I could have been around for the roaring 20s, but no I get to relive the 1930s. Anyway, during this historical time, a Greater Depression, the first black president of the US, gay marriage hanging the balance, I feel that there is one very important that we forget to think about. Me! Well actually issues of mental health and mainstream US/Western society deal with it. Hell, let's throw the East in there too.
So this blog is an attempt to overcome, or at least cope with, one of my many mental problems. With the semi-anonymity offered by the internet, this is the way I will attempt to assert myself over...um...myself. Wow, what a brilliant start, I should be able to attract a lot of loyal subscribers with this!