Recession fun, sans alcohol

Resume / Craig's List prepping;
Nubile young woman of childbearing age wants to carry your young in her body cavity!
Candidate lacks any innate motherly instincts, so there will be no conflicts or akwardness when the neo-nate burst forth her once pristine body.
Candidate is not responsible for any mutations or other birth defects



Avoiding the outside world
Spending time at the library, but from home.  E-books and audio books are available at http://www.colapublib.org/, for LA county.  Its a great way to spend all day the library without ever having to get dressed or be around teenagers.  And its closed on Sundays,  which is really one the days where I need to be occupied or else I go a'spending.  




Tellin' tall tales or at least greatly exaggerating small events
Last night M was attacked by a gremlin!  What really happened was the rabbit jumped on her side of the bed in the middle of the night, which terrified M.  She shrieked, grabbed me, and crawled frantically down the bed until she could reach the light switch.  When the light went on, there was our tiny 4 pound rabbit, sitting on M's pillow, with ears pointing straight up.  
Saying that we have a gremlin that lives in our studio is just so much more interesting, isn't?

Free time

So I've got oodles of free time, now that I'm not drinking, so what habit should replace it?  Chain smoking?  Not a recession friendly hobby.  Knitting?  It does keep your hands busy, and it can be done while watching cartoons, but it does involve counting, so that's out.  Maniacally cleaning the studio?  It took me forever to break M's habit of obsessively cleaning our home, which I'm beginning to regret, but I shouldn't start what I convinced another to stop... what's a recession friendly, non sanity-sucking hobby? I know,  I'll become a housewife!  No, not the type that does anything useful, but the type that wears a glamours housecoat and those high heel slippers with the little fuzzy tufts on 'em.  Yes, this is indeed a brilliant idea.  Oh, I'll keep my day job, but the minute I walk through the security door, up the five flights of stairs, and through our front (and only) door I will transform  into my housewife persona.   All I need to complete the outfit is a bottle of valium(check!) and an ice cold martini... damn.

Two whole days without a glass of wine...

I feel like a savage.  No wine with dinner?  No wine while fiddling around with the computer?  While cleaning?  While watching movies?  While taking a bath?  X used to call me a lady of leisure, but I've gone and lost that title, haven't I?  First, I had to go and get a job, and now I'm not drinking.
Anyway, what else is going on?  Let's see...

Now I know why I got so messed up!

Because I was PMSing! Yes, it is a verb.  I always, always get sick if drink right before I get my period.  I didn't get sick because I'm a lightweight (4 martinis and a bottle of wine), but because my period makes extremely sickly.  And it explains the back pain.  But I'm still calling it quits,  so my offer for free hooch is still good.

Liquor give away!

Who wants some?!  Since I've managed to fuck up my back and neck thanks to post-bender vomiting, I've come to the conclusion that I am officially too old for this.  At this point in my life I seem to no longer have my ability to instantly recover from binge drinking.  So I'm going cold turkey on this one.  No vodka, no gin, no whiskey, no beer, no wine.  I've got the booze in a bag, ready to go the home of a needy alcoholic. I dumped out all the cheap stuff, so only the cream of the crop is left...



I will make an exception should anyone be so kind as give me a bottle of Babycham.