What horror movies have taught us

Don't do dumb shit, i.e. don't split up, in the dark, in the woods, hitchhiking, stealing small objects from museum collections. Basic Scout/ elementary school stuff.

An once of prevention is worth a pound of cure. If you knock your nemesis down, don't run away, jump on its neck, remove hands and feet, set it on fire, just make fucking kill it! And don't put you face next to its' to see if its still breathing.

If you notice that all the lights in your world are dim, or flickering, and that there are very few people around, leave. Go to fucking Denny's or something. But not the Denny's near my house, go the nicer crowded one down the street.

You all may have noticed a new trend, where virgins are not the only survivors of horror movies. But let's not chance it. If you should find your self stuck in a spooky cabin, with no outside communications, on the anniversary of a terrible event, don't do it. If you don't anger the monster/psycho watching you from inside the wall, at the very least it will you distracted, thus a vulnerable target. Same things goes for showers and sleeping. When an animal senses a predator, or that it might be time to visit the vet, that critter is not going to take a nap, or anything else, on the middle of the floor. They know better. 

Cell phone suddenly out of network? Backtrack until it is in network again.

Be polite to the creepy. Not so polite that you're picking up hitchhikers (remember they taught us not to do that in elementary school and Scouts!), but you know, regular polite. This is a lesson also learned in fairy tales.

Run! Run like your life depends on it, 'cause it does.

Packin' heat. Things getting weird? Get a Saturday Night Special. Jus' saying that a girly punch is nowhere near as effective as causing a massive exit wound to slow down your tormentor. Bonus points if you tuck it in your pants, that way psychos don't realize the need to disarm you until its too late! Or, if you're like me, and can't aim, use a shotgun. Hopefully lugging something like that around will act as a deterrent. Or maybe a sawed off shotgun with a bulky coat...Please note that this method probably won't work too well on ghost( Nightmare on Elm St., The Haunting, 13 Ghost, etc. ) demons( Hellraiser), creatures that can only be killed by fire( The Thing, 1982 version of it)

This is sooo much easier to think about then the recession.