Itchy mystery rash

After having visited my in-laws, and genetic family, and staying the night in a hotel, I now have a itchy mystery rash. I've only had this happen when I eat shrimp or when I have a lot of stress. Well, I didn't eat shrimp, or any of their shellfish friends, and the stress is over with, so I don't what's wrong with me. If it doesn't go away by the end of the day tomorrow, M will force me to go to urgent care so she doesn't have to lie beside my pox ridden body.

Speaking of pox, I had to buy anti-itch cream. I bought Cortizone 10 with healing aloe, and read the box as we wandered through the store. Under the directions section it states, " ...for external anal and genital itching...". I had no idea that it had this kind of application (ha ha). At first I though I would walk of the store with my head held high, knowing that people will think well of me and my vermin related hygiene issues, but I was confronted with the shame of people thinking I going to barely make it to the car and start frantically rubbing this cream on my anus. Oh the shame of it all...

BTW the slogan on the box is "Feel the Heal."