Quote of the Day

M has a fear of tsunamis.  Even though we're about 10 miles inland and don't live on the bottom floor of our building, she's convinced that this particular natural disaster will be the main factor in her demise.   Here's our conversation from today;
Me: Do you know how big a tsunami would have to be to damage our home?
M (with a dead serious expression and tone) : Impossibly big!

Quote of Yesterday

Whilst waiting for the bus a man in a wheelchair starts to think out loud;
"Girl you must be rich, 'cause you brought yo'self some beautiful breasts.  Them some fine (my emphasis) titties.  You should really put some that into your ass."

Note to self, wear tighter pants.

"Baby, he don't got to know."

Whenever I get hit on as I walk the streets of LA, I always say "I'm married and my husband doesn't approve of me having male friends," and my suitors always reply, with some variation, "Baby, he don't got to know."
I should start responding with, "Look buddy, it's hard enough to cheat on him with the other two guys who said that to me, I just don't have anymore free time in schedule, I mean I've got to pick up the kids from school sometime!  For fuck's sake, I'm not a super woman.  I've got a lot of people on my plate right now, and if this next kid doesn't look like him I'm in big trouble."
I know the truth wouldn't help, "I'm married to a wonderful woman," will be met with an offer to take us both out...

One of the nicest things ever written about me

"[she] enjoys battling evil miniature giant robots and fashioning herself as anime characters."
It's so sweet and so true, a deliciously deadly combination.

Running errands after work

So after a long, long day at work I went to Ralph's to buy the essentials; bread, beans, tomatoes, toilet paper, and wine.  Not being Trader Joe's the cheapest they had was $5 for a little four pack of Sutter Home Merlot.  What made this whole little trip interesting was what the cashier said to me. " I love the little bottles, I can never finish a regular bottle.  And when you try to save it, it taste funny." 
I almost said "Well, that's never been a problem for me."  Instead I said, "And they're so cute, they look like something dolls would drink out of."  That got me a bit of a strange look. 

Quote of the Day

This is one from my morning bus ride.  A family three are sitting in the handicap section, an ancient man and woman, both Asian,  get on, so the family moves.  Suddenly this guy in the back say, "They stink like a motherfucker, those goddamn Chinese!  They got billions of dollars and live in penthouses!  But they gotta ride the goddamn bus, and make people move to the back!"  He was ignored by all the passengers.  He went on for a while, the rest of the bus ride actually, but he basically said the same things over and over, just changing his emphasis and volume.

Quotes of the Day

I've got two of 'em today. The first comes from Stiff, the second comes from a crazy woman at the bus stop.
Let's begin with the book, "Dissection and surgical instruction, like meat-eating, require a carefully maintained set of illusions and denial." I love it, I just need to find a way to incorporate it in to my daily life...

Moving on. So I, and all my fellow passengers, are exiting the bus. There is this woman who's obviously crazy as fuck, she's filthy, morbidly obese, using a shopping cart as a walker, and her clothes didn't match, lurking next to the CVS. So as we're walking down the sidewalk, she starts to mumble, "You're all fucking pigs." She gets louder and the statements get better, "You're all a bunch of Commies! Communist pigs! You're spies, you shouldn't be here!" I'm not sure if the comments were directed at my group because we were using public transit, the number of immigrants, or the fact that I was wearing a black coat with very red lipstick. I like to think it's the last reason, that I look like a Cold War( the first one) Russian spy, a movie version, but a spy nevertheless.

Lesbians! And other things in movie titles that get my attention

I just love the way the announcer says "lesbians!"

It looks like campy goodness, of the old lesbo vampire genre, but having "killers" in the title makes it seem just a tad homophobic. But I'd watch it on Quicksilver, even though I was willing to rent Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS. There's a good party movie, it has to be one the most bizarre exploitation movies I've ever seen. I really want to watch Ilsa, Harem Keeper of the Oil Shieks .

In that one she "... devises penetration-triggered exploding diaphragms." Sexplotation films... how bizarre.  Fun Fact; apparently Ilsa dies in each movie, just like Aeon Flux did in the short episodes.

"No time to fall behind!"

This is what they tell transfer students, or at least those that transfer from a semester to a quarter system. They tell you that, "You'll be so busy trying to complete the most basic work that you won't even have enough time to slack off." I'd just like to say that's not true, there is always time to slack off, if you're willing to prioritize it. There are always naps, internet "research" projects, music, idle chit chat, and hair to dye. Thinking back to my college days I take pride in my ability to successfully transfer from a community college semester system to a university quarter system, and manage to screw around just as much as I ever did, if not more so, and actually raise my GPA in the process. To those who didn't have time for mid-afternoon naps I say, "You should have tried harder!"

Also, the work is not that fucking hard*, there will always be one easy class per quarter that won't require much effort. And once you stop caring, it only gets easier.

*I say this only as a humanities major.

Quotes of the Day

Work related depression has been slightly alleviated thanks to my pills, junk food, and How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying quotes such as these beauties featured below.

"How to Choose the Right Company: before applying for a job, make sure the company is a large one. This is essential. It should be at least large enough so that nobody quite knows exactly what the other fellow is doing."

"If you have education, intelligence, and ability, so much the better. But, remember that thousands have reached the top without any of these qualities."

"[T]his is the time for maintaining a cool head, and following the one simple rule: put the blame on somebody else."

Quote of the Day!/Reasons not to move to Canada

"I will wait to find the right man or men who'd be willing to have me on their dinner table..." said accused killer Sydney Teerhuis. This is a really odd case, compared to all the normal murder cases I guess. Click on Sydney's name to read the article.
Canada is apparently packed with psychos. Sure, you're less likely to get shot, but if that means getting stabbed to death in a bus, I'll take random shootings any day of the week. Wait, no...ummm...no. Did I just jinx myself?

Quote of the Day

"Hey little mama, you lookin' very intelligent today. I like that. You wana buy a CD." Some guy in the 7-11 parking lot, standing next to a BWM with an open trunk loaded with stuff. Said to me, I was wearing glasses, in case you can't tell.