I gots me a LAMB purse

Finally I have a purse that cost more than I could ever hope to sell myself for. If blow jobs go for about twenty buck a pop, then I would need to do about 25 of them in one night to pay for this thing. Lucky for me, the bag was on sale. Good, ol' Nordstrom's Rack, selling what the rich find distasteful. Not only was the bag deeply discounted already, my fellow pueblains didn't like it either, so it was reduced by another 50%. The store was desperate to get rid of it, if I had waited just a little bit longer they might have paid me to take it. The best is that I like this bag from the moment I saw it regular price.
Suck my dick recession, suck it like a crack whore (y'know, toothless)

Weekend Pills

I didn't take my pills today until almost 1PM. I got at eight, I was actually doing laundry by 8:30, it was a productive morning. I was thinking about the pills, but I felt the breakfast combo of Oragina and grilled cheese just weren't right. After going to In N' Out for some professionally made grilled cheese, I took my meds. Which of course completely screwed up my concept of time. Despite knowing that I got up as though I had to go to work, I felt like my day didn't really start until 1PM. Now its almost 10PM, but it feels like a drowsy five to me.

Thanksgiving wishes

There are so many reasons I won't be able to do this, but I'm so in love with the idea I invite you all to experience it in your imaginations. To make this extra assuming you should know that I'm a vegetarian.

 I invite all my friends over for Thanksgiving dinner, the is table set, the chairs are ready, but oddly there's no smell of food in the air.  Everyone sits down and I disappear into the kitchen to fetch our meal.  I come carrying a big, white, plastic bucket with a tightly sealed lid.  I plop that bucket at the head the table, since I'm the hostess I'll need to serve everyone.  I pry off the lid, I drool in anticipation of the bounty which we about to receive, and I start to put pig fetuses on to everyone's plates.  "There very trendy right now, and since they were never born, they weren't killed, which makes them a vegetable, so I can eat 'em!  Aren't I clever guys?"  My guest quickly leave as the stench of formaldehyde, or as I call it, the stench of success, fills the room.  

The inspiration for this occurred when I saw the tub o' pig fetuses in a school biology catalog and immediately started dreaming of their many uses.  It's out of price range, and, well I believe that pre-natal pigs are vegetables, I could never eat something so gosh-darn cute.  I also thought they would be fun to throw at cars.

We've got new neighbors

So we're taking bets on long they'll last. The most anyone has stayed in that apartment is 6 months, and that's because he was never home. And I don't think he paid rent for while. Anyway next there were the people who stayed for about two months, then another person moved in and left before the month was over. There were very long gaps, months, between each new tenant. After concluding that their moving is not due to us being loud neighbors, or that I make strange noises all the time, leading them to think we've some sort of People Under the Stairs situation going on, I must believe there's something wrong with that apartment. It could the lack ventilation, it's teensy-weensy-ness ( it takes a LOT of skill to make a studio look spacious), or, most likely, it's because that place is haunted. I know, I'm probably getting a few raised eyebrows, but hear me out. A guy was shot (by the cops, so its okay)  in our apartment right before we moved in (that's how we got a discount and brand new appliances). After three years of living here, we can safely determine that there are no ghost. My theory is this; when the cops shot him, he must have splattered, so I think his soul was blown out of his body and into the apartment across from us. Now he haunts the wrong apartment.  Just think about it, that's all I ask.

Why we should go to a Northern European nation for 09

'Cause they got Dignitas, that's why.  And after hearing such a provocative slogan, Suicide Tourism, I really, really want to go. I don't want to die, but I like having the option of assisted suicide should I become very ill. I also like the idea of maxing out all my credit cards if I'm terminally ill. I'm going to live it up on my way out.

Suicide Tourism isn't actually as great as it sounds, unless you are suicidal. You don't go and watch people kill themselves, you go there to kill yourself, because you're lazy ass nation refuses to help you. Okay so maybe it's not laziness, but more a whole lot of squirminess? Despite having a death penalty and being involved in a whole lot of wars, the idea of killing someone who isn't... um..."deserving", isn't capable of scary you, doesn't make you feeling that there is no other choice, someone who inspire pity and empathy is much harder to kill. I dunno.

Well my fellow ghouls, here's the suicide protocol, courtesy of Wikipedia;
"...Dignitas uses the following protocol: an oral dose of an anti-emetic drug, followed approximately 30 minutes later by a lethal overdose of powdered Nembutal dissolved in a glass of water. If necessary, the drugs can be ingested via a drinking straw. The Nembutal overdose depresses the central nervous system, causing the person to become drowsy and fall asleep approximately 15 minutes after drinking it. Anaesthesia progresses to coma as the person's breathing becomes more shallow. Death is caused by respiratory arrest, which occurs approximately 30 minutes after ingesting the Nembutal."

Mindlessness

I love Urban Decay, one of the few pigment rich, cruelty-free make-up brands, so I must encourage any and all readers, including men, to buy their products. What's that you say, "I've got enough make-up?" Well don't worry, you probably don't have any red eyeliner. Do you? That's what I thought. Buy some. Another question, "How will I wear it?" Well don't worry, 'cause UB will tell you how. Click the link below to view "Steal our Looks" page.  Done, looking at?  Good, now you may continue to read the rest of this blog.

It would be fun to do a series of photos, before and after, of my friends with those looks copied exactly. I know who I want to where their Holiday 2007 look, Shadow Box, which gets it name from using all the colors in your eyeshadow pallet. I want all of them to wear that look...

Quote of the Day

"Hey little mama, you lookin' very intelligent today. I like that. You wana buy a CD." Some guy in the 7-11 parking lot, standing next to a BWM with an open trunk loaded with stuff. Said to me, I was wearing glasses, in case you can't tell.