21.4.09

Lunch

2 cups of coffee
A big bowl of pessimism and anger, with a delicious side of confusion because I'm still being encouraged to maintain the network and come up with various tech-a-lious solutions to different problems.  If they are planning on not paying me then they should really begin to discourage me from doing this kind of work.  le sigh...

Tattoo ideas

Anger repression breakfast

1 Gross (taste, not amount) smoothie, of which I will be lucky if I drink half of it
1 valium
_________
Even though I got a maybe, a we'll see, I'm still pissed.  And now the pressure is fucking on.  Now I have to really prove that I am administering this network,  although so much of maintenance is mundane.
I've already begun looking for other jobs, following my dad's advice of applying, letting certain talkative co-workers become aware of this fact, and hopefully being offered another job.
M's pushing the lawsuit route.  I'm prepping.

20.4.09

Dinner/rant

1 cup of water
1 cinnamon roll
1 valium
_____________
I'm trying to determine if my current mood is beyond pissed or sad. I'm going to revamp my request using my old job description and to do a side by side comparison with the new duties and site the precedent that I have been given raises in the past when my duties have changed.
I think what has me the most upset is that my parent's immediate reaction to my boss's comment was to either apply for a new job or stick it out here. It's not that I expect them to offer a magical solution or to call my bosses and complain, I just want them to feel a sense of indignity that their daughter's work is viewed as less than because of gender and age. Is their advise to move from job to job betther than to demand my employer acknowledge my work?
I'm not going to take no for answer on this. I will not let that be an option here, if they want their IT work done then they will simply have to pay somebody or let the system deteriorate. I mean fuck, if my male colleague can say no to the work then so can I. Why would I not have the same right to not take on work that is outside what they hired me for?
I'm just a little ball of fury. Hard work means nothing if I'm not willing to demand that they acknowledge it. If I'm never going to ask then why should I make a fucking effort?

Lucnh

1 small fry
1 small coke
1 valium
1 can of diet coke
1 more valium

Let the job hunt begin...

A preview of my evening

Image via the gallery of the very talented Camille Rose Garcia .   If I combine ativan, valium and xanax with a strong martini do I get to hallucinate about the above image?  Or will I just  put myself into a coma?

Rant

Either I'm gonna get that goddamned raise or I'm going to be a full time blogger on company time.  That's the only I'll be able to justify the lack a pay for fucking IT work, if I get to spend so much time screwing around it feels like a part time job instead of a full time.
I do love a good fight.
Once again this reminds me to begin applying for art school and to start taking programing classes.  And to drink heavily once I get home.

Today's breakfast;
2 cups o' coffee and 1 valium