21.4.09
Anger repression breakfast
1 Gross (taste, not amount) smoothie, of which I will be lucky if I drink half of it
1 valium
_________
Even though I got a maybe, a we'll see, I'm still pissed. And now the pressure is fucking on. Now I have to really prove that I am administering this network, although so much of maintenance is mundane.
I've already begun looking for other jobs, following my dad's advice of applying, letting certain talkative co-workers become aware of this fact, and hopefully being offered another job.
M's pushing the lawsuit route. I'm prepping.
1 valium
_________
Even though I got a maybe, a we'll see, I'm still pissed. And now the pressure is fucking on. Now I have to really prove that I am administering this network, although so much of maintenance is mundane.
I've already begun looking for other jobs, following my dad's advice of applying, letting certain talkative co-workers become aware of this fact, and hopefully being offered another job.
M's pushing the lawsuit route. I'm prepping.
20.4.09
Dinner/rant
1 cup of water
1 cinnamon roll
1 valium
_____________
I'm trying to determine if my current mood is beyond pissed or sad. I'm going to revamp my request using my old job description and to do a side by side comparison with the new duties and site the precedent that I have been given raises in the past when my duties have changed.
I think what has me the most upset is that my parent's immediate reaction to my boss's comment was to either apply for a new job or stick it out here. It's not that I expect them to offer a magical solution or to call my bosses and complain, I just want them to feel a sense of indignity that their daughter's work is viewed as less than because of gender and age. Is their advise to move from job to job betther than to demand my employer acknowledge my work?
I'm not going to take no for answer on this. I will not let that be an option here, if they want their IT work done then they will simply have to pay somebody or let the system deteriorate. I mean fuck, if my male colleague can say no to the work then so can I. Why would I not have the same right to not take on work that is outside what they hired me for?
I'm just a little ball of fury. Hard work means nothing if I'm not willing to demand that they acknowledge it. If I'm never going to ask then why should I make a fucking effort?
1 cinnamon roll
1 valium
_____________
I'm trying to determine if my current mood is beyond pissed or sad. I'm going to revamp my request using my old job description and to do a side by side comparison with the new duties and site the precedent that I have been given raises in the past when my duties have changed.
I think what has me the most upset is that my parent's immediate reaction to my boss's comment was to either apply for a new job or stick it out here. It's not that I expect them to offer a magical solution or to call my bosses and complain, I just want them to feel a sense of indignity that their daughter's work is viewed as less than because of gender and age. Is their advise to move from job to job betther than to demand my employer acknowledge my work?
I'm not going to take no for answer on this. I will not let that be an option here, if they want their IT work done then they will simply have to pay somebody or let the system deteriorate. I mean fuck, if my male colleague can say no to the work then so can I. Why would I not have the same right to not take on work that is outside what they hired me for?
I'm just a little ball of fury. Hard work means nothing if I'm not willing to demand that they acknowledge it. If I'm never going to ask then why should I make a fucking effort?
A preview of my evening
Rant
Either I'm gonna get that goddamned raise or I'm going to be a full time blogger on company time. That's the only I'll be able to justify the lack a pay for fucking IT work, if I get to spend so much time screwing around it feels like a part time job instead of a full time.
I do love a good fight.
Once again this reminds me to begin applying for art school and to start taking programing classes. And to drink heavily once I get home.
Today's breakfast;
2 cups o' coffee and 1 valium
I do love a good fight.
Once again this reminds me to begin applying for art school and to start taking programing classes. And to drink heavily once I get home.
Today's breakfast;
2 cups o' coffee and 1 valium
14.4.09
Vacation
We went to Palm Springs for a vacation this weekend. We decided to skip our 30s and 40s and head right into vacations appropriate for the 50+ set.
It was a nerdcation on top of that. Our main goals were to see the Mapplethope exhibit at the museum, see the library in Rancho Mirage, and stare at the wind farms. This is what happens when I am left in charge of planning. Which is also the reason why we got to stay at a Best Value Inn ($50/night!), which I did not realize was the only smoking room in the whole building. It smelled like an old man's apartment, stuffy, cheap cleaners, and 20 years of cigaret smoke. Now all the clothes we packed, even the ones we didn't wear, smell like smoke.
BTW to make our room extra cozy, and make at least appear to be clean, despite being a standard looking hotel room, we brought our own blankets and sheets. And candles, which did nothing to help the smell or the ambience, but oh well. The only thing that really made it look homey was all the beauty products scattered throughout.
The highlight of the trip was the last day, after we had checked out. Instead of heading back to LA we went further east, to Joshua Tree where M lived for a little while. It was surprisingly easy to find, despite that fact that it had been torn down. That's right, torn down, after M's family moved a way (about a decade ago) no one brought/rented the property so the owner had it torn down. Only the foundation was left.
It was a nerdcation on top of that. Our main goals were to see the Mapplethope exhibit at the museum, see the library in Rancho Mirage, and stare at the wind farms. This is what happens when I am left in charge of planning. Which is also the reason why we got to stay at a Best Value Inn ($50/night!), which I did not realize was the only smoking room in the whole building. It smelled like an old man's apartment, stuffy, cheap cleaners, and 20 years of cigaret smoke. Now all the clothes we packed, even the ones we didn't wear, smell like smoke.
BTW to make our room extra cozy, and make at least appear to be clean, despite being a standard looking hotel room, we brought our own blankets and sheets. And candles, which did nothing to help the smell or the ambience, but oh well. The only thing that really made it look homey was all the beauty products scattered throughout.
The highlight of the trip was the last day, after we had checked out. Instead of heading back to LA we went further east, to Joshua Tree where M lived for a little while. It was surprisingly easy to find, despite that fact that it had been torn down. That's right, torn down, after M's family moved a way (about a decade ago) no one brought/rented the property so the owner had it torn down. Only the foundation was left.
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