Oh nos, another new year...

and I haven't made any resolutions. Yet. This a major departure for me, usually I write these things down weeks in advance of New Year's Eve. Now how will I be able to harshly judge my failures without a written record of things I haven't accomplished?

Anyway, my belated list;

1. Travel

2. Get back into activism, 2 years is more than to recover from my burnout.

3. New hairstyle every 6 weeks

4. Get those prints framed

5. Come up with better resolutions.

Ah, the winter cold...

Finally, an excuse to behave as poorly as I dreamed of.  I am justified in showing late to work, sitting in front of my screen and drooling, taking copious amounts of sedatives, eating salty junk food 'cause it's the only thing I can taste and sleeping for 12 hour stretches.  Not only is this behavior forgivable, it's good for me!  So, other than feeling like shit, this is great!

The double whamy

I got a cold, or quite possibly the flu, and my period. Since I can't breathe without my mouth open I keep waking up with drool on my face, which means the majority of my orifices are leaking at this point.
I've been banished to the bedroom with my cold pills and heating pads. And my niffy new netbook along with my jerry rigged wireless so I'll manage somehow.

Other things I want for Xmas

Platinum blond hair and an asymmetric bob.
A red cardigan that's actually soft.
Attitude.
Someone else to paint the bathroom.
A second rabbit to be the current rabbit's pet.  A guinea pig with long ears is also acceptable.

All I want for Christmas

A Qubus Little Joseph candle holder, and...

image via Salon Store

a Wonderland Lady candle holder found on Speranza Design Gallery.

Oh, let's do...

Out Front Colorado has put out a manifesto calling for a gay secession!   Here are my favorite bits, but please read the whole thing at Out Front's website, it's completely worth it.   

"Time and time again, American political and democratic processes have failed the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community. While we commend the efforts of our allies and comrades who have courageously fought for our right to be recognized as equal citizens by the law, it has become clear that we are not welcome in the United States of America.

Countless times, we have watched as our right to equality is put up to a public vote. And time and time again, even when those rights have been secured by forward-thinking, equality-minded legislatures andcourts, we have watched American votersrevoke those rights. The message is clear: In a majority of American voters’ eyes, we are less than full citizens. We are not worthy of the same protection under the law. Our children do not deserve the same rights as other children do to have two loving parents whose marriage is recognized by their state and government agencies. Our relationships, no matter how long-lasting, do not grant us the right to honor a partner’s dying wish, or be in the hospital room as she takes her last breath. Those relationships do not qualify(PDF) as valid enough to provide a needy child a loving home. Our economic contribution, when coupled with a partner’s with whom we share a home, does not warrant the same kind of government-granted reward in the form of a tax break. We are permitted to die for our country, but we cannot live openly as who we are.

Most Americans consider these things rights. Yet most Americans have demonstrated to us at the ballot box that, when it comes to us, the rights they enjoy are our privileges, granted and taken away at the whim of our “superiors”.

...But we are tired of waiting. We refuse to be second-class citizens. We refuse to continue to pay taxes and make political, social and economic contributions to a government, society and culture that does not permit us to live freely. We refuse to be complicit in a system that does not recognize our existence, let alone our inherent right to equality.

Following yet another failure by the American Democratic process – this time, a legislative process rather than a popular vote – to recognize or even vaguely protect our rights as equal citizens, we propose radical measures.

Therefore, we are claiming the U.S. states known as California, Oregon and Washington, in the name of LGBT former Americans, as a separate nation, heretofore to be known asLiBerTy Gayte.

...A sort of “Gayden of Eden,” LiBerTy Gayte citizens will enjoy the rights denied them in the United States. Initially, citizenship will be granted exclusively to LGBT former Americans. To establish a strong infrastructure and economic market, citizens will be given jobs according to their abilities.

...Our belief in equality will drive our own policy-making and remain at the forefront of our National conscience. With the adoption of this manifesto, we will enjoy the same rights as every full American citizen does today.

In other words, we will finally be equal."

Yes this is the condensed version, but go and read the whole thing.  Now.

Motherfuckingsonaofbitch...

Less than 60%.  No change in schedule, although the want me to be an hourly worker so I might be able to get overtime but that is so painfully unlikely that's not worth considering.  They've told me anything over additional .50/hr isn't doable.  So of course I asked for that and an additional week of vacation.  So far I've been told that it's not doable because of employee handbook (which has been defunct for years).
Anyway, the part that really gets to me is that they don't think I'll leave.  I was actually told that, and it is sooo crazy that they don't think a 20 something IT worker/super secretary might have other opportunities for employment elsewhere.  Ugh.  Just that they think a 20 something would have any loyalty to job that has obviously been taken just to pay the bills is insane.  Hell, to think that anybody who's doing a job that they don't love will stay on indefinitely is crazy.  I'm sure that they're using the logic that the market is down therefore employees don't have any other choices.

Furthermore, if this the peak of what I can earn here why would I have any interest in continue to work here for more than the coming year?  If I've reached that top here I can use reach a new goal.

I know that I'm reading far to much into this, but this is my blog so I'm going to continue on down the crazy path.  It bugs me, the assumption that I won't go elsewhere, because it makes me feel that my lack of self-esteem, or confidence, is something they can see.  And maybe it is to a certain degree, but I feel so exposed.  This is my first real job and grew up in a household where conflict of any sort was to be avoided at any cost.  I was also taught that I should take what I can get and I that I can always do with less.  The prize was a badge of misery that could be worn with a sick pride.  So all this negation and making demands stuff is new to me.

Anyway, hopefully I'll get that extra time off to help me in the job search.

Today's the day, maybe.

I'm supposed to find out about my raise today. I've already been told that it's less than what I asked for, but that if I look at what will be my hourly rate it'll be significant.  Which is odd considering that I'm a salary worker, not hourly.  Ominous.
I've been waiting impatiently for several hours now to get the news that I was told I would receive today.  I'm starting to get a bit annoyed.  Shock and horror.  It's killing me, I want to know right now how it is that they are planning on screwing me over.  My pet theory is that they will make me an hourly worker (see above) drop my hours, divide my old salary by my new reduced hours, and ta-da, significant increase in hourly pay!  To do this they would have to drop at least 8 hours a week, and although it would be nice work only four days a week, its not what I want.  Nor is it realistic.
A decent increase in salary (what I would consider a decent, not great, but decent) with reduced hours might work.  I really wish I had a mentor right now.  I feel that if they offer me 60% or less of what I asked for (very nicely, I might add) is an insult.  Unless I can get more vacation time and reduced hours.  However, I don't really know.   I don't know anyway who's gone after a big raise.  Or even negotiated their salary.  I don't know anybody else who does the kind of job I do.  I don't know anyone who's argued, civilly, with their boss(es).
The only thing I can do to guarantee the raise I want is to threaten to walk.  But I can't do that right now, and a threat I can't make good on is less than useless. I keep telling myself, just 6 more months here and then I'm gone, regardless.  Which does make me feel better, but it won't really help get rid of the sting of being told that my work is not worth that much. The worst part is that I did quite a bit of salary research and took into account the amount of time I spend on the different duties of my job, the company's size, and the nature of the company, so the amount I asked for is considerably less than what average salary my position typically pays.  So getting a low offer is going to suck extra hard.
Anyway, I await with bated breath for their answer.

New favorite site!

Yet another way for me to screw around and waste time! TiltShiftMaker, it makes regular photos like the one below into...

something that looks a part model train scenery. See image below. Once I get home I will begin the process of converting all my photos.

Random career genarator

I think I've found my programing project for the final.

If all goes well I will be moving on from my current job by mid 2010.  The horrible catch is that this next job needs be a step down the dark and spooky career path.

Of course I can spend all day fantasying about all the things I'd rather be doing, but actually putting my money where my mind is... ugh.   So, right now I've got roughly six months to finally do what I've been putting off for the past 27 years, decide what the fuck it is what I want to for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, until I drop dead.

Unless M is planing on dropping out of grad school to pursue med school then housewife is out of the question.  Besides, she would probably become neurosurgeon only to work for free in some godforsaken part of the 3rd world.  Anyway, I'll take housewife off the list, that'll narrow things down a bit.

Lez look at the possible career choice for young women... oh wait maybe this will help!

Image via Contexts

Image via Boing Boing

if only I had this game when I was little, I wouldn't be in such a pickle.

Tumblr

• I've got me one them fancy tumblr accounts!  It's like blogging but with less writing, which means less thinking, which means this will work well for me.  Now go look at it and marvel at my even less skillful writing!
• theworkiskillingmeontheinside.tumblr.com

Office bag lady

Now that I've been at my job for over two years and now that I'm closer to 30 than I am to 20 I'm finally reviewing my work clothes. The majority of my work clothes were bought in a panicked state a day before I started my job. Needless to say I did not buy them for comfort or quality. The pants that fit well are beginning to fray on the seams. All the seams. It's looks like I'm wearing fringed pants. The other pants were inappropriately tight and some tops so loose the collars would slip down over my shoulder giving me a fabulous eighties look. My black capris (eeewwwww) are now a medium gray and my gray capris are hip huggers which I no longer find acceptable.
Even my shoes are starting to fall apart. Granted, I didn't buy the shoes because I didn't have any I could wear to the office, but until now I never understood that shoes wear out I just thought you outgrew them, physically or style-wise. I don't think I've brought shoes out of necessity since my feet stopped growing at size 10.
Anyway, my beloved (multiple) pairs of sky high black heels are being worn down to nubs, the soles are developing holes and the leather (the pre-veg purchases) is beginning to peel. I thought I was going to wear them forever, but not that I would wear them everyday. My poor babies!
Where was I going with this? The point is that if you caught me on the right day I would look like a bag lady. Especially if I'm wearing one of the purses the rabbit has chewed on.

Spanish to English and back again

ockera. I have no idea if that's spelled right, but I will find out. Anyway- M was asked by client if she was a rockera. Which, I guess is the Spanish language equivalent of an alt-chick. Actually she's been asked this more than once now.
I have been asked by several people at my job if I'm goth.
I wouldn't bring this up, but its just something that neither of us sees in each other or our respective selves. Nor are these looks that we're particularly enamored with (unlike mod or teddy girl, which we would be flattered to be mistaken for. Especially since neither of us have the clothes for either look).
We can't figure out how it is that we keep getting these questions seeing as how we both wear conservative office clothes (mine have quite a few floral prints) and we both wear office lady jewelry. Maybe its the heels? But then again we both wear flats quite a bit of the time. I thought that maybe its the hair, but when I was asked the goth question my hair was actually close to it's natural medium brown, not the black I have right now. M's hair is black-brown naturally and it's (kind of) a mod cut.

lood. Everywhere, absolutely everywhere.  How's that to start your day?  After a few fairly peaceful months I've had another dramatic start to my period.  Oh, sure the day started fine, minor cramps, a little tried and achey but other than that I felt fine.  By lunch time, however,  my body apparently made the decision that it didn't particularly care for my emotional well being, or our shared physical well being.  From there things quickly spiraled out of control.
I got home and decided that I would skip lunch and have a light snack of Ibuprofen instead followed by a heating pad chaser.  I really thought that meds and a hour with the heating pad would make me feel better.  Instead the cramps began to really intensify  and I began to get trembly.  I actually had to call work and tell them I couldn't come back.  So that was my Monday, 5 hours at work, the next 6 in extreme pain, followed by another 10 in general discomfort.

Anyway, isn't the drop cap great?  Found it at Daily Drop Cap.

I don't care how busy I am...

it's time to start blogging again.
My work load has increased to an insane degree, although my pay has remained static. It's so nice to know that certain things in my life remain constant.
I've taken all the pens and paper clips I can handle so I'm forced to steal time to give balance to my work life. That way I can pretend I work here on an hourly bases for a decent hourly rate.

Why?

The images below

are quick little doodles that I create everyday at work. There are hundreds of those awful little things, but I get very attached to everything that expresses my spite.

Head resting gently on desk

I'm not dead, just sleeping

Quote of the Day

M has a fear of tsunamis.  Even though we're about 10 miles inland and don't live on the bottom floor of our building, she's convinced that this particular natural disaster will be the main factor in her demise.   Here's our conversation from today;
Me: Do you know how big a tsunami would have to be to damage our home?
M (with a dead serious expression and tone) : Impossibly big!